Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
no you cant smoke seaweed
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
