You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
