My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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