im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just saw a hot homeless man
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
