Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
