She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize