I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
