I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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