How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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