coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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