Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
