Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
