Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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