operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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