i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize