That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
