I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
