Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
