Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
