and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
