he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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