My underwear smells like fireworks.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
