You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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