you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
