omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize