I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
