I love having hate sex.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
