Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
