just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
