Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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