I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
