I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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