When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
