everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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