I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
