You work out of a Hotel?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
