shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
