Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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