I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
