my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
