I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
