My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
