he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
