see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
