What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
