I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize