I'm lost and stupid without you.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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