i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
