If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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