obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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