He is an equal opportunity slut.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
