i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
