we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
