Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
