It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
