Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
