you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
