yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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