are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize