he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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